An email to Lola II

Lola II has gone on holiday for NEARLY THREE WEEKS to a place where she doesn't have a phone or Internet. I am finding it difficult to cope, not only because my shtyoopEd laughter count is at rock bottom, but also because I have had no phone calls or texts to my mobile since she left the country. Except one from the dentist.

I am sending her daily updates, which she won't be able to read until she gets back. The last one went something like this:

Dear Lola II

I hope you are well. I am well, and so is Mr A apart from his hurty knee.

Today I had quite a nice day. It was another day at work, and I’m starting to understand more and more all the time about the speriments.¹ I haven’t had to draw a giraffe² yet, but I expect I will have to soon.

I made some cells grow in a flask with pink liquid and they were still alive this morning. I am a true mother. I told Mr A that his hurty knee is nothing compared to the pain of childbirth, because I am a woman and I know these things.

He went to the doctor who told him to put ice on the knee - he’s using my peas! He doesn’t even like peas! If it wasn’t for me there wouldn’t be any peas in the freezer and he’d be a cripple for ever.

I also have to learn about radioactivity because some of the speriments use radioactive things to feed the cells and then the cells make them into something else that’s radioactive then you take the cells and KILL THEM (yes, my babies, you will die) and measure how much stuff they’ve made by counting the radioactivity.

So there, you know all about it now, you can do my job when you come back so that I won’t have to go to work EVERY DAY. I can’t believe grownups only get two days off a week.

Are you coming back home soon? I hope so.

Love
Lola xx

1. experiments.
2. graph. In my Human Biology A level one of the students at the back of the class misheard the teacher telling us that after the experiment we'd have to draw a giraffe.